Coping with Loss and Celebrating Life

Several weeks ago my daughter sadly said goodbye to her beloved fighter fish Beta. I softly explained that it was time for Beta to pass on and he is in a much better place. Throughout the day she stuck close by my side and I answered her questions about why people and other living things pass on and why she was feeling so sad. When I got official word that Michael Jackson (one of my ALL time favorite artists) passed away last week I thought of the words I used to comfort Brooke

I thought about the wonderful people in my life that had passed away and how I handled it. Some loved ones had lived a long, fruitful life and others I felt left way too soon. But I now know that we all have a higher calling and when it’s our time, it’s our time.



I wasn’t always so reflective and in the past I didn’t handle grief and bereavement well. It would take me a very long time to get back into my normal routine. My emotions ranged from disbelief to anger, then helplessness and an overwhelming sense of sadness and then finally acceptance. Loss is part of the circle of life, and we will all experience it at some point.

We all need to grieve in order to cope with loss. Though it is a very emotionally and physically draining process it is a necessary one. So that it doesn’t create a state of depression it is important for us to first acknowledge what we are feeling and then assert that we will find peace in the loss and return to a happy and healthy state. Creating rituals to honor and cultivate compassion can help us regain a sense of peace and happiness. We had a short ceremony for Beta so my daughter could say a few words about the joy his life brought to hers and how she would miss him dearly. Rituals can be unique and anything that brings your loved one to mind in a happy light.

Life on this earthly plane is a blessing, very precious and sometimes short. Knowing this, be sure to live your life fully, beautifully and full of excitement. Don’t put off the wonderful things you want to do in your life because you don’t have the time – time is there so take it! Call that person you’ve been thinking of, eat a sandwich and potato chips on the good china, take that long walk in nature you’ve wanted to do for weeks.

We are only promised “right now”, so what are you waiting for?

Rest In Peace Michael....

A Reason, Season or Lifetime

I love technology and the “www” but some days I find myself wanting to take it waaay back to the old school when people wrote letters and sent them via snail mail. The great thing about email is that I am able to stay in touch with my family and friends. BUT on the other hand I find myself spending sometimes hours weeding through the SPAM… I’ve been waiting for my free laptop from Microsoft for about 8 years now and surely if I had a rich uncle in the U.K. who had left a sizable inheritance his name would have come up long before someone felt the need to email me (and if my uncle had my email address he should have my cell phone number too????).

One day while on a mission to clear out my inbox I came across a forward from a friend that I had periodically received for at least 10 years now. It was a poem entitled "A Reason, Season or Lifetime" by an unknown author. Instead of deleting the email I was moved to read the poem as it had been several years since I had last read it.

After reading it I found that it held new meaning for me at this stage in my life. In the poem the author eloquently expresses why certain people come into our lives. People who come into our lives for a reason are there to fulfill an immediate need that we are facing in our lives. We may be going through a tough time or a transition and this person either brings clarity or support to where we are at that moment. People who come into our lives for a reason are only there temporarily. The relationship may come to an end abruptly or will gradually fade away. In the poem the author states that "we must realize that our need has been met......and it is time to move on." In this beautiful, sometimes complicated journey of life we meet people who help us get through certain challenges or over hurdles in our lives. Sometimes without notice this person is abruptly removed from our lives and we may feel a sense of loss, but in the end we realize that the relationship was beneficial to our growth even though it ended.

Then there are people who come into our lives for a season. The author explains that certain people enter our lives to teach us something new, something that we have never explored. What they have to share may bring us a great amount of happiness and joy, and in the end we may learn something new and wonderful about ourselves. Once their job is done this person too may cease to exist in our reality, leaving behind the wonderful experience and sense of renewal or growth.

Finally, people come into our lives for a lifetime. These relationships continue to grow over time. It is enhanced by the prior experiences in relationships with those there for a reason or season. Those beautiful souls in our lives for a lifetime can offer lifelong lessons that will help us to continually grow and blossom. Things may be tough at times but in the end it is more than worthwhile.






In the past I mourned people that left my life for whatever reason. Friends that I thought would be there forever, boyfriends, family members that had transitioned… it was always hard to see someone leave my life. I wanted to hold on to the good times and mourn or obsess over the not so good times. As I grew older (and wiser) I realized that everyone has a purpose in our lives.

Instead of looking back and wishing things could be different/better with a mate, friend, or acquaintance, try to see the beauty in the relationship and be grateful for the exchange. No one comes into our lives by accident and regardless of the situation there is definitely something that we can learn from the experience.

Live life freely, abundantly and blissfully! I am glad that at the moment, I am in your life.

[Check out http://www.steeldog.com/reasonseasonlifetime.htm to see the full poem online.]

Create a Life You Love

A good friend asked me to join her book club and, being an avid reader, I eagerly accepted. We each got a turn picking a book to read and when it was my turn I choose Dr. Wayne Dyer's The Power of Intentions: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way. I read it more than once and each time I get something new from it. A few days before our meeting my friend advised me that she and the other members were having problems with the concepts in the book and she was afraid that we would not be able to have a full discussion about it. The idea of setting intentions was a new concept and a little daunting.

I remembered I had to read and re-read the first few chapters of the book in order to understand what intentions really are. Eventually, setting intentions had become such a routine and valuable part of my life that I couldn't see others not doing or understanding it. I explained to my friend that setting an intention is simply speaking what you desire as if there is no question whether it will happen. Setting intentions is much more than just setting goals. It gives us a level of control over our lives and lays out the groundwork for our day, week, month or longer. Through setting our intentions we can create a life that we love.

Has there ever been a time when your day started late, and you didn't take a moment to pray, meditate or just be thankful for a new day? Did that sense of urgency and things not working out carry throughout the rest of your day? I'm sure this has happened once or twice (or maybe more) to a lot of us. By simply taking a moment and setting an intention you can shift your energy and change the course of your day. Normally I set my intentions before I start my day, but they can be set at any time.

In his book Dr. Dyer outlines four easy steps to set intentions:

Step 1: Discipline. In this step, Dr. Dyer explains that we must retrain our bodies to perform as our thoughts desire. This will most likely take a little time to get used to as it entails us quieting our ego mind and making a daily commitment. Most of us already have busy schedules and the thought of adding anything else may be a little daunting but in the end it is well worth the effort.

Step 2: Wisdom. Knowledge and wisdom will help keep us on track. We can stay motivated and inspired by reading, praying, meditating or anything else that keeps us emotionally and spiritually fed. It will give us patience as we connect with our mind/body/spirit.

Step 3: Love. Love for ourselves and what we do is very important. This process of reconnection with self is dependent on love. Everything in our lives should come from love and be done with love. It will make us feel good and keep us motivated.

Step 4: Surrender. Dr. Dyer describes this stage as "the place of intention...where your body and mind aren't running the show." For most of us, surrendering is a very difficult thing to do as it takes a lot of trust and belief in the unseen.


Today, take a moment to reflect on how your day is going so far and how you are feeling right now. If it isn't going the way you would like, set (or reaffirm) your intention for today, and wait for the shift to happen! May your day be filled with joy, happiness and everything your heart desires.

Grounded in Gratitude

My life has blessed me with many successes, challenges and unexpected events. I often share my hopes and dreams with my family, friends or whomever happens to be around while I am daydreaming. Through their love and support I have been able to accomplish so many things and I eagerly look forward to the next big leap.

I always make it a point to talk and dream “as is”, meaning instead of wishing I am constantly in a state of gratitude, knowing that all of my desires will manifest in the perfect time. I’m always talking about my new 5 acre wellness center and new studio locations.

Someone will always say that they hope I don't forget the "little people" when I become successful. It always makes me laugh because in my reality there are no such thing as “little people.” Everyone in my life (including you, whether you are following my musing or stumbled upon it) contributes greatly to my current and future success.

We often stand in awe of people that get a lot of media attention for taking their talents to another level to gain stardom. What we may fail to realize or recognize is that here and now, in our divinely inspired lives, we are ALL great and worthy of awe. Fame is almost always associated with greatness but know that we don't have to be “famous” in order to be great.

In case you haven’t heard it today, you are wonderful, inspiring and a blessing. You decided to take a pause in your busy day to read my musing and it is because of you I stay motivated and have the courage to share.

Continue to be great, grounded and a blessing.

The Power of Positive Affirmations

This summer-like spring weather has me excited about going to the beach this year. I always try to do a little more physical activity in preparation for my “beach attire.” Since I already do yoga and dance almost every day I decided to add something more aerobic to my repertoire. Since I already spend enough time away from the family I decided to do something in-house. My daughter got a Wii Fit for her birthday so I decided to use it as a way to workout.

When the program started there was an option to do a body assessment. At first I thought there was no need to because I am already in decent shape. But curiosity got the best of me and I decided to go on and do it. To my surprise (more like horror) not only was my BMI (body mass index) borderline overweight but also my "real" age was eleven years older than my actual age. My little “Mii” went from looking fit to having a bulging belly and a hunched spine (which reminds me, I need to contact Nintendo about being a little more sensitive). I reset the game and tried it again and the results were only slightly better. That sinking feeling set in and my mood went down south.

There had to be something going on, it had to be some sort of mistake. I eat well, drink more than the suggested amount of water and I am a yoga and dance teacher for goodness sake! Not one to stay in a bad mood I started to meditate and do more yoga to shift my energy. Though my meditation and yoga practice helped me feel better my mood did not fully improve. I thought back to the days in high school when I was a size 3 and could eat whatever I wanted without worrying it would stick to my hips. At this stage in my life I am healthier than I had ever been in and I was allowing this silly little game get me down.

I needed to do more to get out of my funk. During my meditation I pushed the negative thoughts away but in essence they were still there lingering in the background. I decided to face these thoughts and flip it. I listened to my inner chatter and wrote down positive affirmations to counter self-defeating thoughts. Positive affirmations are powerful statements that transform negative energy by changing our internal dialogue. So instead of “I feel fat” I wrote down “I am fit”. Another powerful affirmation that helped quite a bit is “I am the perfect size, the perfect weight and in perfect health.” It put everything into perspective and addressed exactly what I was feeling.

I recited my affirmations several times a day for the next few days and had a few written on sticky notes around the house. Slowly but surely my mood was lifted. I don’t want to be a size 3 again, I am happy at the size that I am and I truly feel WONDERFUL! My body isn’t stricken with constant colds anymore and my asthma is a thing of the past. The affirmations not only lifted my mood but they reminded me that I have a lot to be grateful for.

The beauty of positive affirmations is that we can immediately shift negative energy by changing our inner dialogue. If you are stuck in a rut or need positive reinforcement, here are five simple steps for creating your own unique positive affirmations:

1. Make a short list of things that are contributing to negative thoughts/feelings.

2. Write the list again in a positive sense. For example "I am overweight" becomes "I am healthy, happy and the perfect weight." Be sure to begin each with "I" and write it in the present tense as if it were already accomplished. Statements should be short and concise.

3. Believe in your affirmations! Don’t write anything that would cause you to say “yeah right!”, they have to be true to you.

4. Put your affirmations where you can see them daily. They are best put in places that you frequent such as the kitchen or bathroom.

5. Repeat your affirmations (with conviction!) several times a day.


Negative thoughts and bad moods happen - we all have our moments; it is part of the human experience. Despite it all know and believe that we can create a life that we love.

Remembering resolutions

Oh my how time does fly, taxes are due, April showers are making way for May flowers and New Year's resolutions are probably quickly becoming a fleeting thought :-) My resolution of letting go of my superwoman complex and having more downtime has been a tough one to stick to. The state of the economy and other world events have more and more people seeking ways to reduce stress and live a more balanced life. Organizations have started hosting more health fairs and stress management workshops to help employees cope with the economy woes. As a native New Yorker and a recovering “A” type personality I lived through years of self-induced stress and was very sensitive to what was going on in the world. Through yoga and meditation I was able to relax, reconnect to joy and look at life from a more positive perspective. Because of this I welcome each and every opportunity to share the wonderful benefits to all that will listen.

After one particularly hectic weekend I almost gave up on my sole resolution. My calendar was jammed packed with activities for the next several days and no break was in sight. Even in the midst of the recession I am blessed to have a steady flow of work. It would be crazy for me to turn down an appointment or class opportunity, right? Old anxieties snuck up on me so I took some time to meditate to gain clarity.

After several minutes I decided to stay on task and created a rule of three "R's" for when I needed guidance and/or motivation. If you are at an impasse with your resolution(s) try my three “R’s” rule:

1. Revisit. Ask yourself, "is this resolution still relevant to where I want/need to be in my life at this time?" If the answer is no let go and find peace with your decision.
   


2. Revamp. If this resolution is necessary for you to live a happy and balanced life and old methods aren't working, revamp your plan of action. Explore ways to achieve your goal(s) by utilizing different methods.
   


3. Reconnect. We are capable creating the life that we desire. In order to do this we must reconnect with our source energy - happiness. Find joy and happiness is all that you do ¬this will keep us all motivated and energized.
   
   May you continue to be surrounded by love, joy and happiness.
   

Creating Karma

A few weeks ago I did something that I haven't done in a very long time - I watched the news. I decided a long time ago that I would only watch the news long enough to check on the weather or traffic. If I watched any longer I would often feel drained, angry, paranoid or just plain fed up. A story about a fatal attack on a mother and her teenage daughter in their home caught my attention. They lived very close to me and apparently this was the second case involving a vicious attack on a mother and her daughter in the area. The story left me in tears and angry that someone could so callously take precious lives. Then paranoia crept, I have a daughter and sometimes we are home alone. I ran around the house, checked all the locks, turned the alarm system on and grabbed tightly held my confused daughter.

The story stayed on the news and I made it a point to tune in every day that week. I prayed that those responsible were caught and brought to justice. I watched the news every single day, sometimes twice a day. Each day that I watched I felt a little more saddened and frustrated that justice hadn't been delivered.

At the end of the week I finally turned the television off and emotionally disconnected. This was a horribly tragic event and I was sad that it happened…. but there was nothing I could do about it and seeing justice done would not change the fact that precious lives were lost. It is not my job to be judge and jury. Instead of harping on the sadness I instead sent love and light to the families.

In life, we are constantly creating our own karma. Some of us may feel that karma is about judgment or an eye for an eye, but it isn’t. Karma is simply the universal law of cause and effect. Every action, every word, every thought carries energy out into the universe and shapes our present and future experiences.

Wayne Dyer says “how people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” So the next time someone steals your parking space, cuts you in line without permission or makes a rude comment just smile knowing that it’s not about you. Continue to create good karma in your life by detaching from the need to see justice done or to deliver payback.

Today and each and every day: live your life fully, honestly and with respect for yourself, others and nature.